I meant to put this up after we returned from Hawaii.  It is the euology that I read at Curt's ceremony on the boat off of Diamond Head:

We are here today to honor Curt’s last wish—to have his ashes spread at sea off the coast of Oahu under the glitter of Diamond Head.  It is our first visit here, but it is easy to see why Curt wanted to live here and why he chose this to be his final resting place.

 

As Curt and I grew up, our family life, vacations and fun times always focused around water.  We spent just about every summer weekend at the lake water skiing.  Some of our best times were spent vacationing on the shores of California, New Jersey and Maine.  So it was no surprise, when Curt graduated from high school, that he would move from Tahoe and spend most of his adult life in beach houses in the Santa Cruz and San Diego areas.

 

Curt wanted to move to Oahu and we talked often about that possibility.  Rachel and I encouraged him to do so and he was making plans for that even while he was undergoing his cancer treatments.  This place has everything that Curt enjoyed.  Natural beauty, warm ocean waters, great restaurants, and of course fabulous shopping.

 

Curt enjoyed the good things in life—Curt enjoyed life.  He had a rocky go of things for a few years prior to and after his heart transplant, but after his surgery he made a remarkable return and had an intensified zeal for life.  He, and we, always knew he literally did have a new “lease” on life, and that the lease would likely run out before any of us wanted it to; but he accepted his limitations and chose to enjoy and live life to his fullest capabilities.  He rarely let his disabilities get in the way of what he wanted to do.

 

So, as we commit Curt’s ashes to the sea, we should reflect on his life and his attitude toward living.  He enjoyed his time here and he wanted it to continue.  He never lost hope and fought right to the end.  He endured much physical hardship and he did it with a grace and courage that is truly classic Curt Fenske.  He was (is) my brother and I am proud of him.  It was a great honor to be his brother, to share with him his life, to be with him during his illness and death, and to be here now to help him complete his journey; and, even though the sailors who gave diamond head it’s name were mistaken—there were no diamonds glittering in the soils; that is no longer true because we now return to God’s sea and shores one of his most perfect gems.

 

But, we are not just returning Curt to God’s care, because Curt has not really been alone these last 12 years since his heart transplant.  Curt was given a gift that allowed him to be with us a little longer.  In a way, Curt has also given his donor a chance to experience life a little longer.  That is why Rachel will release two monarch butterflies--to symbolize the union of Curt and Patty, and why we ask everyone to pray not just for Curt, but for Patty and her family as well.  Without them we would have been conducting this service 13 years ago.

 

So, as I spread Curt’s ashes and we pray for him, let’s also give thanks to our giving human spirit—the spirit of giving that allowed us to be with Curt a little longer, and the spirit of giving that brought Curt to our family through adoption.  The spirit of giving that is the true life of Jesus Christ.  Our Father, who art in heaven . . .Eternal rest grant unto him O lord and let perpetual light shine upon him.  May he rest in peace Amen.  May his soul and all the souls of the faithfully departed through the mercy of God, rest in peace Amen.

Curt was my dear cousin and like a Uncle/Brother to me.  I remember visiting him often as a girl and teenager.  On one of these occasions Curt was going to take me for a ride in his beloved Volkswagon Bug.  Half way down the highway the Bug began to smoke.  Then it really began to smoke.  Instead of stressing out or yelling, as was not Curt's nature, we laughed the whole way back to his house... and cursed a little. 


I also remember bringing my now husband to Curt's house in Santa Cruz.  We were young hippies in love and Curt accepted us for who we were.  He always accepted me and we kept in contact over the years.  I miss him dearly and think about him every day.